For such a simple game, I had a surprisingly tough time figuring Earth Defense Force 2: Defenders from Planet Space out. It’s not difficult for the most part; it's generally easy to pick up and play. Your goals as the player are straightforward and actually controlling the thing is far from a struggle. I just wasn't sure I “got it” at first. Earth Defense Force is super niche, and trying it out (especially this one specifically) for the first time is like diving into a pool without checking for water first.

I was having fun, but in that sort of half-confused way that comes from playing a Vita remake of a no-budget PS2 game that never came out in America in the first place. Earth Defense Force 2 is a companion release to Earth Defense Force 4.1, a game I feel like I can safely assume is much easier to dive into sans context. Still, despite several factors working against it, Earth Defense Force 2 is a charming little curiosity that, above all else, makes me want to explore further down this rabbit hole.

Earth Defense Force as a franchise is basically an arcade-style riff on Starship Troopers (the movie version, natch). Giant bugs are wreaking havoc on humanity, and it’s up to the titular military element to spray and pray until every last pint of insect goo paints the pavement. It teeters on a dangerous line, between the obnoxious “it’s bad on purpose, get it haha” brand of forced irony (think Sharknado) and the sort of organic quirkiness we used to see a lot in games, back when game budgets could be tiny and mistakes could be made without so much riding on homogenized, focus-tested success.

Three character types are available, but the classic infantry is going to be everyone’s starting point, and likely ending point. The other two are interesting, but tailored far too strictly to multiplayer to be nearly as much fun as the dude with a billion hardware options. Once you start the missions EDF 2 tosses you right in the poop without much warning, dropping the player in front of a screen-filling swarm of ants the size of apartments. Janky, spastic animations of hundreds of skittering ants combined with a minimalist environment is surreal and overwhelming, but you quickly learn to just run in and murder everything in sight as quickly and efficiently as possible. Diving into the edges of a predictably shoddy camera isn't great, and getting flanked from all sides is inevitable. Plus, it’s not like a normal-sized dude tucking and rolling is going to do much against a giant freaking ant’s hit box. Spray and pray, yo.

As you play, janky ants splatter into janky bursts of green blood as power-ups and new weapons rain from the heavens. There are vehicles but none of the buttons seemed to want to let me in. One eventually worked, even though I swore I tried it already, but careening into every surface in a goofy, pea-shooting bike is no fun, so I jumped out and hoofed it across the map to the next group of bugs. By this time I figured out point-blank rockets were a bad idea and manage to keep my distance from the next horde.

No penalties for recklessness seem to exist, so you happily light up suburbia with military-grade fireworks, and the previously jarring bug splattering starts to grow on you. Splash damage is a wonderful thing. The cheeseball plot progresses, and new creatures emerge to challenge the limits of the game’s camera on top of your aim with the Vita’s inadequate sticks. When the swarm finally gets in your face, there’s nothing quite like swapping to your machine gun and taking advantage of your endless ammo reserves as you frantically spin around and lay on the trigger. You might eat an appendage to the face and sail across the street, but you’ll be okay. On easy mode, anyway.

You soldier on, because Earth needs saving, and your brain has become a dripping, plastic sandwich baggie of mush. EDF 2 is a big, stupid shooting gallery infused with b-grade cinema tropes and enough low-budget PS2-era zaniness to keep you entertained for hours. Even if you don't quite understand why. This bizarre re-release feels like a taste of something bigger (as an entry point, anyway), and it only makes me want more. That's…probably why 4.1 came out on the same day, isn't it?

Hint: Don't waste time bumbling around with vehicles, especially when surrounded by bugs. They're terrible. Just terrible.

by Lucas White