I’m a dirty bird! I’m a dirty bird! I love movies by Russ Meyers, John Waters and trash cinema in general. I also love pervy/weirdo Japanese games and Senran Kagura: Bon Appetite is right up my alley because it’s not only a pervy/weirdo game, it’s also a rhythm game. And a cooking game! And a hoot!

It’s a spin-off from the Senran Kagura fighting game series that has managed to find itself a sizable cult following in the States. These games are known for their intense combat, cute girls with clothes flying off and incredibly detailed boob physics. In fact, I’m pretty sure there’s an entire section of the development team dedicated to that one aspect of the game. The games are very tongue-in-cheek, not meant to be taken seriously and generally a kick in the pants.

The game stars the cast of the Senran Kagura games and each has their own look and personality. You don’t have to know the characters to enjoy the game, but it might make the story mode a little more entertaining. Although, I’m pretty sure people aren’t playing this for the story. After picking your character, there’s a short setup explaining why you have to enter a cooking contest and you’re off!

You’ll cook-off against another girl to try and make the best meal in order to satisfy the judge and progress further. And by cook-off, I mean play the rhythm game. There are two lines with buttons and D-Pad commands scrolling by, and you have to hit the correct ones at the correct time to the beat of the music. It’s usually pretty easy in the beginning, but can get quite tricky when the D-Pad directions coincide with the button commands. And it really gets hard when it’s a fast song and buttons and D-Pad commands start flying by and changing up. There are also parts where you have to hold buttons down for specific amounts of time or mash a button super fast to fill up rice bowls.

It’s a simple game, but will take some time to master. If you do better than your computer-controlled opponent, the judge will test the food and blow some of her clothes off with an energy blast of delight. I don’t know any other way to describe it, beyond that. It is hilarious to watch. Especially with the cutting-edge boob physics the game uses. And if you flub up the song and do worse than your opponent, he blows your clothes off! So in a way, even if you lose you still win.

If you really nail the song and don’t miss many of the commands, the judge will freak out at the end and have a hilarious taste-induced hallucination. He’ll ride a giant squid like a rocket into the sky, get rolled up into a massive sushi roll, sail the seas on a seafood platter or something along those lines. And after that, you’ll get to see the opposing character lying nude in a giant desert with chocolate or whip cream covering up their naughty bits. Naturally, you can rotate the PS Vita to see her at different angles. Naturally.

After each match, you win various clothing items that your favorite girls can wear when you visit the dressing room, and you can check them out from a variety of angles. I think this is for the hardcore Senran Kagura crowd, because there are a lot of different clothes for each character, so it’s clear someone spent some time on this part of the game.

The music in the game is all over the place in terms of genres. Most of the songs were catchy, and some were quite good. Most levels are easy, but there are some difficulty spikes that might trip you up for awhile. I got stuck pretty bad and had to do the same song about 20 times! But it never got old, because of the hilarious cooking animations and absurd fan service. I was playing the game on regular difficulty. There is a hard mode, which introduces one more button and direction into the mix. The triangle button and up direction. Doesn’t seem like much, but when everything starts flying by, it makes a big difference.

This is the best cooking/rhythm game I’ve ever played in my life. It’s got solid rhythm game mechanics, hilarious cooking and clothes-flying-off animation sequences and a pretty good selection of songs. If you play one dirty-bird cooking/rhythm game this year...

Hint: Hit all the right commands and you'll get a heart during the song. Press any button on that heart, and you'll get a show. 

by Urian Brown