SJ Olympic Dreams!

 

The Olympics have ended, but the buzz is far from over. Winning athletes have gone home to their respective countries to receive a well-deserved heroes welcome. While America came out on top, I couldn’t help but wonder how well a group of Shonen Jump athletes would have done? Using the magic of imagination, I'll pick the characters who could have taken home the gold! 

Opening Ceremonies: The Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure Characters. 

Over the years, the opening ceremonies have become more and more extravagant, bordering on madness at times. And that kind of sums up Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure perfectly! Using their stands, which can manifest as anything from a fiery red bird-man to an entire ocean liner, they could put on a show that the world would never forget! And might even be less confusing than England’s. Maybe.

Swimming: Jimbei - One Piece

A former Warlord of the Sea and one of the strongest Fish-men, Jimbei is extraordinarily strong and fast for his size. Not even the great Michael Phelps, the “superfish,” would stand a chance against him in the water. Probably not on land, either.

Tennis: Ryoma Echizen - Prince of Tennis

While he’s far younger than the average competitor in the Olympics, they don’t have special manga tennis powers! Like the Selfless State! Or the Cool Drive! Plus, he’s so good at tennis, he can lose all his senses and still play! Can Federer do that?! Unlikely.  

Basketball: Shohoku High - Slam Dunk

This one may be the biggest stretch of them all. It’s not that the members of Shohoku High aren’t incredibly talented, because if you read the manga (which you should, as it’s considered one of the greatest manga of all time!), you’ll see the team’s hard work and talent carry them farther than anyone would have predicted. But the fact is the U.S. team would have serious height advantage. However, you can never discount “the Phenom” Hanamichi Sakuragi’s speed, rebounding and insane attitude! Maybe he could get inside LeBron’s head!

Gymnastics: Monkey D. Luffy - One Piece

Due to their extreme flexibility and extensive training, it may seem like gymnasts are made of rubber, but they are not. However, Luffy is! And being made of rubber and able to stretch to extreme proportions, would give you an undeniable edge in this competition.

Speed Walking: Yoruichi - Bleach

While people make fun of speed walking or race walking, to many it’s taken very serious. The main difference from speed walking and jogging or running is one foot must be on the ground at all times. Because Yoruichi’s Shun-po, or flash step is so fast no one can see it, it’s not clear if she qualifies as a speed walker or not. But since this article is just plain silly, we’re going to put her in this category.

Water Polo: Saw-Tooth Arlong and his Pirates - One Piece

Considering Fish-men are 10 times stronger than men, and even stronger underwater, I don’t think Arlong and his crew would have any problem dispatching any human water polo team. Not only are they stronger, far better swimmers—they’re also really mean and scary!

Men’s 100, 200, 400, 800m Dash: Minato Namikaze - Naruto

Naruto’s father and the Fourth Hokage, Minato was considered the fastest ninja alive during his time. Nicknamed “The Yellow Flash of Konoha,” he developed a teleportation jutsu that allowed him to travel distances in the blink of an eye. This would give him a distinct advantage in an Olympic race.

Women’s Beach Volleyball: Nami and Nico Robin - One Piece

Having eaten the Flower-Flower Devil Fruit, Nico Robin can make numerous sets of hands appear from anywhere she wants, including other people! I’m sure you can see how this would come in handy (pun intended) during a volleyball match. No ball would be out of reach! Nami would be a good partner, because she has worked with Nico Robin before, and they both look great in a bikini. That’s important in beach volleyball.

Wrestling : Kid Muscle - Ultimate Muscle 

The son of a legendary wrestler, Kid Muscle isn’t your ordinary wrassler by any means. For one, he’s faced a myriad of terrifying opponents that would shake the bowels of even the most hardened wrestler! Like when he fought the toilet/man wrestler, the Hollywood Bowl! While that storyline had a crappy ending, I bet Kid Muscle in the Olympics wouldn’t! However, I’m not sure if his signature move, the Reverse Butt Buster, would be allowed.

Archery: Uryu – Bleach

Uryu is not just a good archer, he has the ability to control where his arrow goes. This is a definite advantage in archery, and I’m pretty sure he’d clean up at the games. He can also shoot multiple arrows at once, which is not an advantage in Olympic archery, but it is in hunting Hollows! 

Female Weightlifting: Biscuit - Hunter x Hunter 

While female body builders can lift more weight than the average man, when Biscuit goes into her super buff form, she can lift more weight than many men! However, it’s unclear if she would actually compete, as she would have to show the world her super buff form, which she really hates to show people.

You can read about any of these imaginary Olympiads in their manga, which are all available on store.viz.com!

Hope you enjoyed our SJ Olympic picks! Feel free to leave your own picks on the comments field below!

Related Links: 
Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure
One Piece
Prince of Tennis
Slam Dunk
Bleach
Naruto
Ultimate Muscle 
Hunter x Hunter 
Manga

by Urian Brown

Comments

Submitted by ZEROINTELIGENCE on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 10:55

Hollywood Bowl!!!!! The FLUSH OF DOOM!!!!

Submitted by John Bae on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 11:21

Next con, cosplay as Hollywood Bowl and I'll go as Kid Muscle. I'll be sure to eat a BIG BEEF BOWL beforehand too, so we can reenact the ending!

Submitted by luffylover on Thu, 08/16/2012 - 06:11

THIS IS HILLARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Submitted by Ashirogi6 on Fri, 08/17/2012 - 20:59

I'm not a very big fan of the Olympics, so this did not Interest me that much.

Submitted by Private333 on Mon, 08/27/2012 - 09:38

For the closing ceremony they should have the end of the demon tournament in YuYu Hakusho where Sakyo blows up the stadium.

Submitted by John Bae on Mon, 08/27/2012 - 14:13

That would have been an epic closing ceremony!